Hey dear readers,
I have been so busy that even though I kept up with writing and publishing, I had no time to send out an email to you. And a reader, who is also a dear friend, actually reached out to tell me that she misses my articles and the regular newsletter.
I told her too, and I am telling you what kept me busy.
When the whole quarantine started, I was just as confused and anxious as any of you, and the last thing I wanted to hear or read was an umpteenth productivity hack or overly positive suggestion to make the best of this time. Yet somehow, it happened.
I am writing a book!
Or, to be precise, I have already written a book, completed the manuscript and now it’s being edited and I am working on the cover design and trying to educate myself on Amazon self-publishing (it’s such a complex multifaceted system that even my previous project manager brain goes aaaaaaaaah).
It’s an extremely scary process and incredibly rewarding too. My imposter syndrome is killing me, I am questioning myself at every turn.
I have written about narcissistic abuse quite a bit — for I have personal experience of it. I have collected my thoughts and organised them into a comprehensive narrative, so it could be a helpful read for everyone who has the misfortune of going through something similar.
Self-publishing is a great invention and it allows anyone to publish without having to jump through the hoops of traditional publishing. It’s also a lot quicker. But it’s a very complex process to manage, with tons of details to pay attention to, that is otherwise handled by a publisher mostly.
I have written about it in several articles. About the emotional roller coaster of it, about how to write the perfect design brief for a cover design, and about choosing the right editor. I am trying to document the process so that I can remember and to offer some value for other newbie self-publishing writers.
And about the book a bit more. I will surely talk about it some more, in detail, so bear with me — for this is one of the most exciting projects I have ever had.
There is a poem, from Mary Oliver, that I have always loved and it spoke to me so much when I was coming out from my abusive relationship:
The Uses of Sorrow | Mary Oliver
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
It is summarising how I felt when I was at the lowest and I was trying to find some meaning in the incomprehensible hurt.
Inspired by this, the title of the book will be A Box Full of Darkness — because this is what it was. Years full of darkness, days full of hurt. But to think about it as a gift — something that helps you grow and evolve into the person you are meant to be — is another layer, and it gave me hope.
The book is not a memoir, but rather a self-help book, supported with personal narrative — not a heavy psychological academic paper, but a rather easy-to-understand material that can be helpful. The target group is kind of a niche, so it won’t speak to everyone — thank goodness — just to those who experienced this kind of abuse and who need guidance to get out of it or move on from it.
It’s so exciting — and terrifying. I am going to become a published author. Yay!
And at least, I am not writing about Covid-19. That’s a plus too.
Hit the heart icon or the reply button — and let me know what you think. If it speaks to you, I would be especially happy to know about it.
Thanks for being here, and expect some further news about this.
Love,
Zita
Ps1.: In the next email, I will reveal the book cover. As a teaser, it’s dark and powerful. With an incredibly expressive image.
Ps2.: if you want to support me, please buy me a virtual coffee ($3), on my ko-fi page, I promise to spend it on Amazon ads :)