I know how it feels. Please don't do that!
|Zita Fontaine||May 27, 2020||2|
Since I started writing I have reached heights I never really believed I could. I reached a thousand followers, then 2 and 3 and 4 thousand. Now I am closing in on 5.000 followers on Medium. When I started, I didn’t think it would be possible. I am not too big on social media, I had never collected fans on Instagram or Twitter. I never really wanted an audience.
It changed with the writing, for the number of followers means the number of people who opted-in, saying they want to hear from me. The people subscribing to this newsletter was another sign - hey, after all, you are here and you gave me permission to send you updates right into your inbox, which is the biggest level of trust.
After opening the box delivered by Amazon, full of my author copies, I had two waves of conflicting feelings washing over me. One was euphoria, to hold the real book in my hands that I wrote, clear proof that I am a published author and a writer. And the other one was uncertainty and confusion. Do I really deserve this? Okay, sure, I wrote this book and I sold 60+ copies of it already in the first two weeks. Okay, it is a real book and it has my name on it and I know how much effort went into the writing, editing and publishing; but is it really a proof of anything?
Does this really mean that I can write or am I just one of the millions who think they can write but what they do is just writing words one after the other hoping that the reader won’t be utterly disappointed? Does it mean that I can call myself a writer already or should I have something more, something better, something something?
I realized that I am sabotaging my own success, and I am doing a fine job with it, too. I feel inadequate, no matter the tangible results. I feel it’s not enough and I am not enough. I hold back with self-promo because I still don’t believe that I deserve the attention and the success of it all.
Read the rest of the article here:
I wrote a few other stories too, after getting over the inevitable downer days following the book launch. How to Regain Momentum After Feeling Stuck
I am not sure I am comfortable yet with the reopening of the world, but it’s here. The Lockdown is Over, Now What
And I had a viral article on Medium, with 50k views and over $3.000 in earnings. Which is borderline incredible. Especially considering the imposter syndrome I just wrote about above. I wrote about how it worked out for me. Forget Everything You Know About Going Viral on Medium
And I also wrote about how inspiration, motivation and willpower are overrated when it comes to achieving your goals. If You Want to Get Things Done, Forget Inspiration, Motivation and Willpower
If you wanted to ask, my book launch went quite nicely. I was already thrilled about the amazing support I received from friends - in real life and in the writing community. It was great to see others’ images of my work on their kindle, iPad or kitchen counter. It is amazing to have a real book in my hand. I put it on my bookshelf, next to my favourite authors — my Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Bulgakov and Ray Bradbury volumes have company now, and it has my name on it. Amazing, isn’t it?
And it is great to see that there are strangers out there buying it, and I truly hope it will help them in this difficult journey.
If you haven’t yet checked it out, here’s the Amazon link for both the kindle and the paperback version.
If you can, I would appreciate if you left me a review. Reviews are incredibly important, for they help to position my books higher and they also establish credibility. Although, you need to be a regular Amazon buyer to leave a review, otherwise it won’t appear there. Anyway, I’ll be forever grateful if you did that.
Thank you for being here.
As always, the articles in this newsletter are all accessible for free, so you can read them even if you are not a Medium member. But if you clap for them (up to 50 claps) it helps me get more eyes on them.
If there is any topic that you would like to read about, please hit the reply button and let’s have a conversation. After all, this is why I am doing it, to connect with you.
I would drop my “buy me a coffee” link here, but I’d be happier if you bought my book. The Kindle version is quite affordable, and I promise, it’s worth the price.